Crew Jason Barfield // NOVEMBER 20, 2019

Crew Jason Barfield 

November 20, 2019

5:55pm

8 lb 4 oz

20.5 in

WARNING! I am not a writer. i'm not trying to be a professional blogger. this blog is basically just my journal and a way to share info with family and friends who might care.

I wrote this very casually and just to get the info down for my own personal memories. Im not trying to be dramatic or embellish anything. this is how I remember it, and my thoughts, and how I felt. I included lots of details you probably wanna skim but that were important to me to include.

So the story begins with us going to the hospital on the 19th at around 7pm for my schedule inducement. Before we went in, I had Andrew, my brothers, and dad give me a blessing because I was terrified. 

When we got there they had me change into the hospital gown but me and andrew were cracking up because I could not figure out how to get it on. I just had to include that detail bc it made me feel a little less scared to start of with that hilarious moment of me andrew trying to figure out which snaps go where haha.

Anyway! they started me out with cervix softener which wasn't fun for a minute but once that was set to go, it mostly just a night of trying to sleep. Oh and we listened to 2 women give birth without an epidural...that was exciting lol

Once I was getting the pitocin to start labor, I had my mom come down to the hospital because of course I had to have my best friend there.

The pain didn't get too bad by the time I had my epidural so that was perfect. Also getting the epidural was not a big deal like I thought it would be so thank goodness for that. At this point though I had to start  to where an oxygen mask to help the baby's heart rate from dropping too much.

At some point they let me know that the baby had pooped inside of me (gross) and that there is a risk of him swallowing it on his way out. so they warned me that right after he comes out theyre gonna not gonna give him to me right away. they didn't seem way worried about it though and later on they were able to let me know that they were able to suck most of it out.

From there we basically just waited till I could start pushing. Once it was time to practice push it was so much more chill than I thought it would be because we were watching say yes to the dress in between pushes and just chilling and joking around.

After a while though things were starting to not look so good but me being oblivious I didn't realize it at the time. neither did andrew but my mom did.

I had been pushing for 2 hours when the nurses went to take a "water break". they were gone for a long time calling the doctor for help because they were realizing things werent going right. I had a fever at this point as well.

When the doctor got there, things were not chill AT ALL anymore. he was like a drill sergeant yelling at me to push (not in a mean way, just in a "lets get to business way"). he then told us that because of the way the baby was coming down he was going to have to use this vacuum to suction to his head to help pull him out. he said that it was too late to do a c section.

that seemed a little concerning to me but I didnt wanna ask too many question because I didnt wanna be freaked out so I just said okay whatever we gotta do.

so I continue to push and he starts to use the vacuum and i just immediately see the doctors face change and then he yells out "the baby does not like that!" because the heart rate started dropping. the next thing I know, 2 nurses come running and just start pouncing on my stomach trying to help me get him out. it was the most traumatizing thing to watch even though I couldnt feel it. it was like being heimliched by two people while at the same time im trying to push as hard as I can.

I also have to include this detail bc its kind of funny now..but while this is happening, Andrew was trying to comfort me by stroking my head..but he wasn't paying attention because he was watching all of this happen..instead of stroking my head he was pushing my head backwards over and over and it made it extra hard to push lol.

ANYWAY

I remember thinking to myself that I literally had nothing left to give. i was exhausted and was trying to take breathes but knew I had to get him out asap. when I thought to myself "I have nothing left" then I said to myself "but you have to ..you literally have to"

and then (I missed this part luckily) but my mom said the doctor yelled out "Get ready to resuscitate!" so then a team of more nurses come running in.

At this point I finally see him come out and in my mind im thinking "okay its all good now, we did it, so everything is fine."

 But then i realized it wasnt because Andrew had been asked before we started pushing if he wanted to cut the chord. He had told them no but because all the nurses were preparing, the doctor threw the baby in Andrews face and yelled "you have to cut the chord now!" Andrew was shaking so it took him 2 tries. The fact that he made Andrew do it made me realize, oh this is still not good.

It dawned on me that he is not crying. I was so focused on just getting him out that once he was i was thinking "ok we did it!"

Anyway then they take him over to the little thing you set the baby in (dont know what to call that) and start resuscitating him. there was a million people in the room.

this whole time its just silent basically and im watching my mom look traumatized. and andrews about to cry. I just remember looking up at andrew and thinking to myself about the blessing i was given before we went in the hosptial. in the blessing andrew said that the baby would be okay and healthy so I was thinking he has to be ok.

 we were just waiting to know whats going on. It was long enough for me to ask like 5 people if he was ok and not getting any answers. Finally one nurse said to me "we're doing everything we can, we'll keep you updated" so we just laid there for what felt like a while and waited.

Andrew and my mom went over there to see him and a few seconds later I hear him cry and they lift him up and show him to me.

Then I finally got to hold him but I just remember being so scared holding him, and the pillow behind my neck was so uncomfortable and thats honestly all I could thing about lol 

then they told us we needed to watch him for the next 24 hours and look out if his chest starts turning blue..that freaked me out so I immediately knew id be putting him in the nursery that night so they could keep a good eye on him. they also warned us that his head was hurting. he had and still has 2 knots on the top and he had a bad scab on his head from where they had the heart monitors.

because of how everything went down, we decided to wait till the next day to have my family come meet him. we were exhausted.

one nice thing was when we saw him there was no questioning his name. we still felt like his name was crew. I was happy to not have to debate his name because we had no back up haha.

his first bath

after 2 days we got ready to come home

I just want to say i know people have had it worse. he had a traumatic entrance but then very quickly was fine and healthy so I dont mean to sound like "poor me" but i just want to document this story for myself and I know some people have asked what happened so this is just me telling our story. it was very scary in the moment but we are very lucky and blessed and im so thankful.